There are a few things in life I trust implicitly: a stiff martini, a friend who’ll lie for me without asking why, and the NuFACE Trinity. My face has been contoured, sculpted, and lifted to the gods by exactly zero personal trainers and one tiny device that, yes, looks like a sex toy designed by Apple. And while it usually comes with the kind of price tag that makes you blink thrice, it’s currently $35 off at Walmart during the Walmart Beauty Sale (no one seems to know about!), which makes it feel like a sign from above. Or at least from the marketing team.
The first time I used it, I was skeptical. I’ve seen enough YouTube influencers “feel the zap” and convince themselves their jawline has snapped into place. But five minutes in and I was already texting my friend a close-up photo with the caption “I think I just Facetuned my face in real life.” The lift was real. The glow was smug. And my cheekbones were giving “I just returned from a zero-tech retreat and haven’t smiled this much in my life.”
NuFACE Trinity Starter Kit
The NuFACE Trinity Starter Kit is a pro-level at-home microcurrent facial device that stimulates your facial muscles to visibly tone, contour, and lift. It comes with the Trinity device, a charging cradle, a power adapter, and the Hydrating Leave-On Gel Primer (which you need for conductivity). With regular use (they recommend 5x/week), you can maintain results that make it look like you’ve been getting lymphatic facials and 8 hours of sleep. The sensation is a gentle tingle — not painful, just a “hi, I’m working” buzz. It’s FDA-cleared, clinically tested, and wildly beloved for a reason.
I’ve been using the NuFACE Trinity religiously before events, dinners, and passive-aggressively showing up to parties where exes will be. It’s my pre-date ritual, my hungover resurrection, my quiet revenge. And now that it’s marked down, I want everyone to feel as unnaturally taut and self-satisfied as I do.
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